This morning I was parched on the way into work, so I stopped at the local gas station to purchase a tasty beverage. I am a fan of flavored water- perhaps because I never really liked water to begin with and when mom used to make me drink it I’d actually add sugar to give it some taste. (I’m not knowing for my freakishly healthy ways.)

So half asleep I stumbled round the gas station and picked up a lemon flavored water. I paid, got in the car and pulled out. Once on the road I fought with the bottle which had one of those freakishly tight caps so it took me a good half mile to even GET the damn thing open. At that point, I’m more awake, but pissed and thirsty in that dry mouth that makes life really uncomfortable kind of way.

Finally I get it open, take my first sip and it’s FIZZY lemon water. It sucked. It was the kind of magical carbonated crap that makes that weird reaction with whatever little bit of toothpaste is left in your mouth and creates that foam that makes you look like you’re rabid. I think that it was lemon flavored made it even worse as that combined with the fizzy foamy thing made it taste like something only a half step above bile and it actually managed to somehow make my mouth even more uncomfortably dry than it was before. What a great way to start the day. At least I didn’t spill it all over myself, although that probably would have been more refreshing that attempting to drink it.