The last few weeks have just been hellish. There are a million things I have to do for work, a million things for the wedding, and a million normal house things. I’ve been keeping my cool though, at least as best as I could and I have not broken down. Today though, the straw finally broke my back. All day I was firefighting, with a ton of people asking me for different things, trying to fix a dozen problems, and getting nothing done that was on my to do list today. So I did something I haven’t done in a long time.
I came home from work, opened a beer, and just cried. I don’t like to let the stress hit me like that, but I am after all a woman. We cry, that’s what we do. Some may say it’s a sign of weakness (in fact I’ve had people tell me that before) but I don’t care. I needed to do it, so I did. Weakness or not that’s just how I have to cope sometimes.
I’m proud of myself for not crying at any point during the last month. I had my head down, I was all work. Amazing one has not seen me a single night without my laptop firmly attached to my hands from the time he gets home until the time we go to bed. (most nights he’s dragging me to bed at some point post 11). Then I get up and juggle the hours and hours of work with trying to squeeze in the wedding planning and trying to actually get an hour a day with him and no work, with trying to make sure the laundry is done and the house is not totally trashed… I usually fail at all of them except the work part.
I want to just make it thru June. After June I’ll be done with the BIG work, and hopefully I will be able to take a breath. I just hope my sanity holds till then.
The idea that crying is sign of weakness is such bullshit and the idea is usually spouted by some insecure moron who usually is only marginally successfully in life and who relieves their stress by being an asshole. I am not a man and see no reason to behave like one. It is simply ridiculous to think that crying negates the hard work and success you have achieved. I might kill someone who had the nerve to say that to me, especially when I am stressed out and crying.
And I know few men who would be able to plan a wedding and take care of a house while working 80 hours a week.
March 26, 2007 @ 11:45 pmmany people don’t acknowledge that crying is just a release. when you’re going through extreme circumstances something has to give, and it’s what comes naturally. and it helps.
you don’t need me to validate that it’s not a weakness (but i wanted to comment anyway). i’ve seen more than one bride and groom crying during their own wedding. and i’ve empathetically teared up during a couple of them too. it’s the same principal at work. it’s not tragic, it’s just that the extreme emotion has to give, be released, or expressed.
sometimes your body needs it. and maybe your mind too.
March 27, 2007 @ 9:42 amYeah, I just needed it yesterday, and today I’ve been much better. PS- Sarahspace you know who said it to me
or at least you can guess
Post the crying I fired up the laptop and worked again and then made my way thru all my beer in the house and moved on to Amazing One’s beer. I was um…. tispy by the time he got home from practice. But I felt much better.
March 27, 2007 @ 10:57 amI know, no time to go look for another job. But damn girl. You need to get a less stressful job. I’d hate to hear about you going Bullet Co. one day there.
April 2, 2007 @ 5:37 pm