It’s been a while since something bizzarre has happened to me so it really is about due. I went ahead and cashed in the weird shit chips yesterday at the local Lowe’s store.

A-1 requested that while i was out running errands could I please pick up a bag of winterizing fertilizer. That wasn’t a problem, and I enjoy lowe’s so I went ahead to the store to get some.

Now for those of you that have ever gotten bags of this crap you know usually it comes in massive friggen bags, the one I’d chosen was about 47lbs. I pick it up off the pallet to put it into my cart and the damn thing bursts all over me. Now this crap is in tiny pieces and is itchy as hell. I’m trying to get the bag out of my hands and then it happens. My shirt which is secured with just snaps pops all the way open. At this point I am surrounded by at least a dozen employees and fellow shoppers and I’m covered in fertilizer and my lacy black bra and boobs are on full display.

The employees were of course very nice letting me know not to worry they’d clean it up and they were so sorry for the bad bag etc etc then one of them while I’m brushing myself off starts to reach out as if to help me get the fertilizer off my boobs. He’s literally within about an inch of my chest when he realizes wtf he’s doing and yanks his hand back. After I get myself mostly brushed off and my shirt put back together I haul another non faulty bag of fertilizer into the cart and head off thru the mess to get checked out.

It will probably be a little while before I return to that particular lowes, and next time I go I’ll most def be wearing a more secured shirt. But at least I gave them something to talk about for a while.