I am a big huge fan of Christmas, always have been and hopefully always will be. I like putting up lights on the house and marveling at the fantastic redneck decor my neighbors bring out this time of year. I like putting up a tree and decorating it, I like in fact for the tree to be HUGE and impossible to navigate around as you try to get to the couch. I LOVE giving presents, I don’t so much like the shopping for presents as I hate people, but I have gone almost 100% online with my holiday shopping. It’s easier and I can always find exactly what I want without wandering thru the dreaded malls. A1 says I’m horrible at the gift giving cause once I find that special something for that special someone I want to give it to them right away. I am so excited to give them something they really like, want or need that I can’t wait until the designated day. I am notorious for attempting to sneak presents in to people early.

I am also horribly bad about being in the same room with presents that I know are for me. I think they are sitting under the tree taunting me. When I was young I mastered being able to unwrap and rewrap a present so that I could know what it was and no one knew I’d been in it. Yeah I know it ruins the surprise but I don’t care. I am proud of myself as this year as much as I’ve wanted to I”ve left the presents alone. A1 knows this about me, and I”m sure any and all of the presents he’s got under there are boobytrapped anyway.

The things that I hate about this special time year… the damn traffic. People lose what little sense they have this time of year and just drive like dumbasses. They cut you off, decide they need to get off the highway now from three lanes over, and have lost all track of proper use or turn signals, stop signs and red lights. Yesterday afternoon 4 cars in front of me ran the same red light for no apparent reason than they couldn’t wait the extra 2 minutes for the light to cycle again to get into the Meijers.

When I do have to enter a mall or retail store I keep my guard up, as the same thing that forces people to drive like idiots makes them assholes when you’re trapped in say Best Buy with them. So far this holiday season I’ve been stepped on, someone hit me with their cart, someone just kinda jumped in line in front of me, I’ve been bumped out of someones way in an aisle because they thought I might possibly be going for the last one of some game on the shelf. Lord knows as well that I am huge and they could in now way easily pass around me without actually touching me. I do believe that the bump was just something they threw in to slow me down in case I was going for the same thing as they were. Word to the wise, I don’t like strangers all up in my personal space. Think of it like the scene in dirty dancing, this is my space, and this is yours.

All of these things also seem to be things that ONLY happen in this magical time between Thanksgiving and Christmas. This is why I have gone almost exclusively to the online shopping mode, I know one day I’m just going to snap on one of these rude bastards and be arrested for jumping on their back and trying to beat them down with my purse/shopping bag/first thing I can grab off a shelf next to me. Although I do think there would be no better story than being thrown in jail for beating a man with a can of green beans/stuffed bear/display stand.

To end on a positive note, the things I really do love the most though are the times spent with family and friends and being excited when I can give someone I love something they will enjoy until at least next Christmas rolls around.