I don’t often actually READ the spam messages that I get cause they’re all about the same and really running mail servers it’s hard to send something new and exciting to me. Today however was my lucky day. A new spam a new spam! Not only is it a new one for me, it’s also one that is especially hilarious (at least to me).

The subject was really what caught my attention:

GOD BLESS YOU AS YOU REPLY BACK(I WILL GIVE YOU MORE DETAILS)

How can that subject line NOT give me pause?

Dear Beloved Fellow Christian,

HaHa- ok now that’s just funny. Ok Ms Christian, lets see what you got.

Please don’t cry for me after reading my message because my spirits and my soul will rest in the bosom of the lord in the next three months.

Oh how sad, our spammer is sick.

Having known my health condition I have decided to donate a sum of $5.5million to church

Well that’s very christian of you, but I have a feeling there’s more….

or better still a Christina individual that will utilize this money according to my instructions below.

Ahhh here it comes, and again- you are barking up the wrong tree here lady.

I want a church or individual that will use $5,5million to fund churches, orphanages and widows propagating the word of GOD and to ensure that the house of GOD is maintained.

That money will buy a lot of things to build churches and such.

I don’t want a situation where this money will be used in an ungodly manner. I took this bold decision because I am not afraid of death hence I know where my soul is going. I know that I am going to be in the bosom of the lord. Exodus 14 vs. 14 says that the lord will fight my case and I shall hold my peace.
My Email: xxxxxx@yahoo.com.hk
Waiting to hear your opinion.
Mrs Rose Smith

Lady, your best bet is REALLY gonna be to donate all of this money that you have to a church and not a person, just my thoughts. Also if you’re going to send our random emails to strangers perhaps try to make both your from address and the address you want people to email you at match. Of course because this is spam for jesus I’m sure eventually they’ll hit that uncomputer savvy Christian who will email them and fall into that whole you send me money so that I can pay my lawyer to send you the larger amount of money and then something bad is going to happen and I’ll need you to send me more money so that I can get a plane/train/bus ticket to go see someone and next thing you know they’ve stolen hundreds if not thousands of dollars from someone who probably couldn’t afford it to begin with but was just trying to be a good person.

Love that both email addresses were chinese in origin. I hate people