Finally I decided it was prob time to go get my license changed to my shiny married name. My Social Security card had been updated for like a year now, but going thru the DMV/Banks pain in the ass was something I’d just been putting off since I’m a major procrastinator and hate jumping thru hoops and mostly dealing with people.

So this morning bright and early I head to the backwoods DMV. It’s housed in the same building as the county court in a massive brand new building in the three stop light part of the county we refer to lovingly as downtown. of course I have to go thru metal detectors to get inside, there are three armed deputies manning the one metal detector for the whole building. It’s also 7 degrees here today (seriously it’s colder than I’ve seen it be in a long time) so I am fully bundled in sweater, coat, scarf, gloves, jeans, knee high boots etc etc. I leave all my stuff buttoned up and walk thru the detector and set the thing off. that’s when I remember I shoved my keys in my pocket so I go back thru and take them out, set it off again. All three deputies are looking at me, not one wands me or asks me to even open my coat, the only woman just says oh it’s probably the zipper on your boots, come on thru. So note to self made, if I ever want to smuggle a gun into the place just wear knee high boots. Check.

I get up to the desk and even though I have my old and new social security cards, and a utility bill with the address and name on it they need my actual marriage certificate. Uh… I have no clue where that might actually be…. It’s somewhere in the house, somewhere. After lunch I get home, look everywhere for the damn thing and finally find it when I’m about to lose hope. Back to the DMV I go. This time the same three deputies just say Oh you’re back! and again let me thru without scanning me at all even though I’m still setting off the metal detector. 15 minutes later I walk out with a lovely new drivers license.

Next stop, my two banks. at the first one of course the main teller lady can’t help me, I have to wait for desk man to finish whatever he’s doing. Here they require just my license to change the name on all my accounts. The process is painless, I’m thinking this won’t be long at all! Then desk man decided that the best form of customer service would be to hit on me. Let me repeat, the man who’s changing the name on all my accounts cause I’m married, and asking me if I would like to add my husband to any of them hits on me. It was one of those, wow that’s a ballsy move moments that just gives you a bit of a headache from the shock of it. I mean he gets an A in the confidence department, but he also gets an A in the creepy asshole department.

Once I extracted myself from that joyous event I made it over to bank 2. Now here’s my beef, please for the love of god could every place use the same standards? Require the same things of me, don’t make me run around time with 18 different types of paperwork to change this one thing. Bank two requires our marriage license, and not just requires seeing it, they need to make a copy of it. Now I have no fucking clue where this copy goes. I don’t know if they have just some massive file full of copies of marriage certs and divorce certs and death certs laying somewhere in a drawer.

the other thing, no one even once wanted to see my social security card. Not one place, not one bank, not the DMV. They didn’t seem to care about that at all. I find this slightly problematic, but whatever. At least it’s done now.