It started out simply enough I went to the local Lowes to get myself some pretty new flowers for the front flower bed. A1 was having a garden tour at the house so we were due to be invaded by a plethora of old people who were going to be wandering around my house being all judgy and such. I found several pretty flowers, some potting soil and new pots for the front porch, loaded them up in the car and headed to the house.

I’m about halfway home, crusing down the highway at a comfortable 75 mph and the next thing I know, something large and wet jumped from my backseat and landed on my arm. ON MY ARM. So I did what any other person who’s just been assaulted by something large and wet unexpectedly would do and I freaked the fuck out. I was screaming like a 12 year old who just saw that Justin Beiber kid and started swerving all over the highway. I look at my arm, and there’s a frog, a FROG sitting on my arm, looking back at me. Apparently the high pitched screaming didn’t really do much for the frog so it jumped from my arm to my dashboard and stared at me like WTH lady you’re a million times bigger than me please chill the fuck out.

So now I’m on the highway, still doing 75, staring at a frog who’s sitting on my dashboard staring at me. That’s when I decide you know what, I need to call my mom, cause she’s not gonna believe this shit. Mom answers on the second ring and I say to her “I almost just died in a horrible fiery crash on the highway cause there’s a frog loose in my car!”. She doesn’t quite understand what I’m saying cause I’m still a little 12 year old girl so asks me to repeat myself cause all she got was fiery car crash. So I start to tell her again, in a calmer voice, when the fucking frog leaps from the dashboard onto my shoulder freaking me the fuck out all over again. At this point my mom’s yelling back at me cause I’m pretty sure she thinks I’m being killed.

The frog then jumps from my shoulder back to the car door. I’m now off the highway and able to tell my mother in a clear and calm voice that there’s a friggen frog loose in my car. In all her proper britishness she says “Are you sure it’s a frog and not a toad?” This leads to a two minute debate about how she’s pretty sure it can’t be a frog it must be a toad and i’m telling her, nope it’s most defenitely a frog, I am aware of the differences between the two.

I get home, walk into the house and look at A1 and say there’s a friggen frog loose in my car. This seems to not phase him at all, like this is the kind of thing that happens all the time to people, completely normal. I grab a flashlight and head out to the car to try to track this thing down while he waves to me from the couch. out in the driveway I open all the car doors and the trunk and I’m looking everywhere for the damn frog. While i’m doing this SisterDear calls, she’s just moved into our neighborhood and is literally one street over and she’s wants to know what I’m doing. So I tell her, yeah I’m looking for a frog that is loose somewhere in my car. Her only response is “I’ll be right there”. Two minutes later she has arrived and now she and I both are trying to find this freaking frog who has vanished into thin air.

After 15 minutes of hunting we can find the frog nowhere. I assume, or hope at least that the little fucker jumped out one of the open doors so we give up. She goes home and I go to plant my new flowers. As I’m taking one of the flowers out of it’s lowes pot to seperate it out my hand hits something wet. Yup the frog has returned to it’s flower pot and it’s sitting there, watching me again. It hopped into the front garden, and I’ve not seen it since, but one thing I have learned from this is that I will now check all flowers prior to loading them into my car for unexpected wildlife.

Last night the lovely officer from the City of Shepherdsville police dept was kind enough to give me a ticket for ‘rolling” thru the stop sign in our subdivision. A nice little $163 ticket. No more than 10 feet from my driveway. I should have apparently stayed in bed all this month.

Look at this thing, look at it carefully, then explain to me who the hell wants to wear one of these things? in fact make sure you go thru all the pictures, I am particularly fond of the one with the guy riding his bike in the rain with this thing on. Personally I think I’d rather go the old fashioned umbrella route, or newspaper, or a plastic bag, or perhaps even just suck it up and get wet than wear this. I wonder how many they’ve sold.

Moving on to finishing up the posts I’ve started over the last few weeks and not gotten around to finishing, I’d like to start back with my adventures in coffee making.

I freely admit I’m a coffee-a-holic. I must have it every morning, and if I don’t I get those annoying lack of morning caffeine headaches. Yeah I’m addicted. A few weeks ago I’d had to do without my Saturday morning cup(s) as I was out of creamer here at the house. I do love my coffee, but I just cannot drink it black. I was proud of myself, I’d gone a whole day without any. Sunday though I couldn’t resist. I’d gone out and gotten my creamer Saturday afternoon, I was up and ready Sunday for a delicious cup. I pour my grounds into the filter, fill the coffee maker up with water, and hit the button. Nothing. I hit the button again,,, still nothing. Fantastic, my years old coffee maker has finally died.

Ok I tell myself, this is not a problem. It is still early, I can just go buy another coffee maker. So off I go to Meijers. I purchase my brand new coffee maker and head happily home. As soon as I get home, I unpack it, ready to fill it up and get my caffeine on. Then I realize, I’ve got filters, but of course my new coffee maker uses differen filters than the old one, and there are no free filters included with the new purchase. Ok, another kink in the coffee making plans. I am annoyed now, but I try to relax. The NCAA tournament was on, so I figure, it’s fine. I will distract myself with basketball, then I will go buy filters.

Post game I’m off to the closest store, a walgreens to buy filters. Of course, shockingly our Walgreens doesn’t carry ANY apparently. So I head to the NEXT closest store, the Kroger. Finally I find filters and head back home. I put coffee in new filter, load it up and pour water into the proper place in the BRAND NEW coffee maker. Next thing I know I have a half a pot of water pouring out of the bottom of the BRAND NEW coffee maker and onto my kitchen counter and floor. It’s 3pm, my brand new coffee maker is defective, I’ve had NO coffee and now I’m pissed.

A normal person would have just gone and purchased a cup of coffee from somewhere, anywhere. I am not a normal person, and now it’s all about making my OWN coffee. It must be made from my own coffee maker, and I must make it with my own two hands. A1 is perfectly aware of my crazy, and at this point I am in full blown crazy mode.

Off I go again to buy a new coffee maker. Meijers has pissed me off with it’s defective crap, so I go to the local walmart. I but ANOTHER new coffee maker, ensure I have the correct filters and head home. I start to make a new pot, YAY this one holds water, the filters fit, I can hear the percolating… Then my work phone rings. The coffee is there, brewing, tempting me, and I am stuck on a call with the office. I have to go to work.. I WILL NOT LEAVE WITHOUT MY COFFEE. So I pour my coffee, my own two hands brewed coffee into a travel mug and head to work. I do have to say that at 6pm on a Sunday night that cup of coffee may have been the best tasting cup of coffee I’ve ever had.

Logically I thought, eh it’s the day after Christmas, surely it won’t be THAT bad. Yeah I can hear you all giggling to yourselves and if you could see me you would also notice that I have a giant pink flashing neon dumbass sign clearly posted on my forehead.

As if that genius idea wasn’t bad enough I then weighed my BestBuy options. We have two here in town, both of course situated on the same roads as our major malls, but on opposite sides of town. I call A1 at approx… 3:45 and tell him I’m leaving work and running by the best buy. From my office on any normal day it should take me about 10 minutes to get to the one I’ve chosen. At 4:15 I call him back, I have chosen incorrectly it seems and I am now stuck in traffic literally miles long. How bad is the wireless I ask… Perhaps I can just run out tomorrow as everyone in the damn city has decided today is the day they all need to go!!! They have new game systems, dvd players, tv’s that all need things lots and lots of things!!!! The router is only allowing at most 5 minutes of connection however, and I personally need the internet. I may not be on it all the time, but by god if I know I have no online ability it feels as though I am trapped, trapped in a world without color, without email, without taste or sound. So I decide screw it, I can do this! I can make it thru the crowds, thru the idiots I shall have internet when I go home!!!!

Inside best buy is a madhouse. It’s like you took 1000 people and told them all they had one goal, to wander thru the store as if they’ve never been in one before, to pickup and touch everything, to walk so close behind you that you can feel them breathing on the back of your neck and then to promptly see where you are headed and make every effort to actually put themselves as much in your way as humanly possible. At one point an employee who looked as if he’d been running with the bulls at pamplona all disheveled and slightly sweaty and wild eyed had to move one of those giant rolling ladders to get something for another customer. Of course giant ladder is directly next to where i am standing weighing my wireless options. Of course he CANNOT WAIT IT MUST MOVE NOW. So i back up and directly into the man standing behind me not doing much of anything except perhaps checking out my ass, except he was far to close to get any kind of decent view so who knows what he was actually doing. Mr Employee of the month then proceeds to lift the breaks on said giant ladder and start to roll it not realizing that another employee perhaps in the same frantic people people everywhere! mode had stacked the top of the thing with boxes of assorted crap. I say assorted crap because as it was falling like giant electronics box rain all around me I couldn’t actually focus enough to tell WHAT was in the boxes.

At that point I was flustered, pissed off and tired of people being all up in my space. I grab the closest router that I can, thinking I know exactly what i’m picking up. I then proceed to the checkout line which wraps around nearly half the store and stand there with people still all crowded on top of me- it was like being tailgated without the cars. If they just got that much closer to me then they would and could make the line go faster. Another 15 minutes in line and finally finally i am at the checkout. That’s when I realize that the router I have picked up is not the one I thought it was. It was in the wrong place, so yeah it will work, but it is one of those badass wireless for miles models that does WAY more than I need and is way pricier than I wanted. I said fuck it, I think out loud even, paid for the damn thing and got the hell out as quickly as I could.

Moral of the story, I will not ever ever ever again visit bestbuy for the full 7 day week proceeding or following Christmas. Ever, not even if I’ve got a million dollars to spend on whatever shiny pretty new anything I want but only if I go to the store during those two weeks. Ok maybe for a million I’d do it again, but I would be the rudest pushiest on the news tackling people bitch in the place.

We have flipped that breaker before, it has always been a touch problematic, so I bundle up and head outside to the breaker box. The breaker is flipped and will not turn back on. It’s also one of those Arc Fault breakers, which in the world of breakers is of course like the $50 one. So fine, now we have to replace a breaker, and until we do we have no power in the front bedroom or spare bathroom or hall. Of course since the box is outside we can’t replace it until the damn rain stops which may be never.

Now our wireless router has started to go bad, it’s been getting a little more flaky week by week and it is a few years old and now it’s just on it’s last legs… So there’s another $60+ bucks of crap to buy (luckily I have aforementioned gift card for Daddy Dearest which we will use to go towards the purchase of said router today)

And my brakes are squeaking… more than just a little oh they may be dirty squeak.. So 4 new breaks which I’m sure will be a few hundred bucks not long after the $500 I had to pay for 4 new tires… Oh and I need an oil change too so another $80ish.

At least this hopefully means that everything that wants to break will break now as opposed to first thing in the new year. Silver lining right?

Yeah somehow I’m getting lots of clicks from an adult site index. Uhh, k… I’m not sure how they found me, or why they think this is an “adult” site. I mean yeah, probably due to cursing and my general I may post about kittens or I may post about freaky weird sex things on any given day, I prob wouldn’t recommend 12 year olds be following the blog. However, this is not also a place that people looking in an adult site index will be happy about getting to. Generally you’re on such a search site looking for boobs and two chicks at one time right? Yeah there aren’t a lot of pictures/videos/etc here, least not any full frontal, full action ones so I apologize if you came here lookin for that.

What I think is most funny is I’ve been kicking around writing an post with a “how to” for light bondage since years ago I had that ONE post with light bondage in the title and since then it’s STILL been my top search phrase/keyword in the google. Perhaps this indexing is a sign that I should do it, I guess it would give all those adult searchers who wind up here SOMETHING to read right?

Frankly that would have been I think a more likely outcome for the both of us than where we are today. Thank god we had mini mommy to steer us properly.

The roundtable was organized by a guy I’ve met on several occasions thru the years. I always thought he was kind of a tool in general personally but after yesterdays events I’m leaning away from tool and more towards the thought that he’s just an asshole. This guy is a big fan of my dad, and not that there’s anything really wrong with that people are also fan’s of Palin and McCain so everyone is entitled to their own opinions right? In fact my dad was scheduled to be at said roundtable but I suppose he had better things to do so he didn’t show up.

So early in the meeting we’re all going around the table introducing ourselves and giving the mini speech on who we are and what we do. I am the only woman in the room who’s not a teacher and one of the few industry people oh yeah and the only one who’s actually hired any kids out of their schools. So I run thru my introduction and then Mr Gigantic Tool comes up behind me and puts his hands on my shoulders and says “but her real claim to fame is that she’s x’s Daughter”.

Yeah that’s my real claim to fame. That I’m someones daugher. Not at all that I’m a manager in a decent size IT company. Not at all that I run mail servers for tens of thousands of domains. Not at all that I started as a receptionist at a tech firm and worked my way from there to here where I am now. Definetly not at all that I did it as a woman in a field and a town where there aren’t a ton of women doing what I do.

His son, who is now a teacher was actually in the room as well, however when he introduced himself no one stood behind him and said oh and his claim to fame is that he’s my son. I doubt too that were I the son of my father that he would take the time to point this out to a whole bunch of people at what is supposed to be a professional meeting. I think my favorite part though was that since my dad didn’t show up and Mr Jackass asked if I would be able to bring everyone else up to speed on what it is that his program does. NO No I can’t. I’m not here as my dad’s secretary or assistant. I actually have no idea what exactly his program does but I would be more than happy to talk to you about what my company does or how my company interns your students. Jackass

Then McCain- who I just cannot stand for a variety of reasons goes and chooses this woman from Alaska. I honestly have no idea what was going on in his mind. If really he thinks a hunting card carrying NRA member is going to attract all the women to his ticket from the Hillary camp then I am just insulted. She is the antithesis of everything that Hillary represented. Now I sit glued to CNN, MSNBC and of course my fav’s over at comedy central because I am eagerly awaiting what Jon Stewart and Keith Olbermann will do to her. All of a sudden too I’m starting to see news stories about this woman that further confuse me and make me wonder what the hell the GOP is thinking. She’s an unknown who yes is a governor but is one of a state which has less inhabitants than most of the lower 48′s big cities. She’s also only been a governor for less than two years after having been mayor of a small Alaskan city. Then there’s the whole scandal over getting her brother in law fired which she’s currently under investigation for, and now the teenage daughter who’s pregnant. Her mother of course was a big backer of that whole abstinence sex ed program. Also I’m unsure how the mother of a four month old with Downs syndrome really expects to go on a huge campaign and I’m assuming then plans on being the VP of this country.

I am uneasy with the thought of this woman being literally one breath away from taking over the country. McCain to say the least not in ideal health. After hearing some of his random speeches I’m not entirely sure he’s in the best mental health state either. He looks like a befuddled old man who can’t seem to remember what he’s said or done from one day to the next. Yes one day I want to see a woman in the office, either as Pres or VP, but not this woman. I look forward to seeing Biden rip her to shreds in debates just as I look forward to watching Obama rip McCain to shreds. With all due respect Mr McCain yes perhaps you could at one point been our commander in chief, and perhaps you would have actually done a good job with it. That time I think though passed years ago. With all due respect Ms Palin, I am all for women being powerful independant and making a difference, however you stand for many of the things which I just do not believe in and I think your candidacy and the fall out from what I’m sure will be a debacle of a campaign will actually end up setting women back in terms of running for high political offices.